How I Found God Again!

Growing up, my bioloigical family was catholic. I remember being young and in elementary school being able to hear God's voice. There was one day at school kids were bullying me, and I don't exactly remember what I was trying to do or say; however, God was talking to me in that moment and telling me to be nice to the kids and this and that. I was like, "God, did you see what they did and hear what they said?" I was having a whole conversavtion with Him, which probably made the bullying worse haha. I believed in God, loved Him, and just wanted to live life with Him. Then, like a lot of people, childhood trauma happened, life happened, hurt and pain happened. I didn't stop believing that God was real, but I did get to where I was mad at Him, I got to where I stopped trusting God. Now, I didn't know that truth at the time, I told everyone that God was real, God is good, I'm a Christian, etc. Shoot, I even went to church sometimes. I didn't truly know God though, I didn't have a true relationship with Him. I was overall a "happy, positive" gal who loved everyone HARD, but I want to be super transparent with y'all: I was hurting BAD, I was scared, it was hard for me to fully and truly trust anyone, I didn't live my life for God, I didn't love myself at all, I thought God made a mistake by having me in the world, I thought people were better off without me in their life, I was in pain, and I didn't have hope for myself or the future. All that changed on July 24th, 2016. I was at a sunday morning service, and I was told how God loved me so much, regardless of my past, regardless of my mistakes. I was told how God still had a huge, beautiful plan for my future, and I knew in that moment it was time to "come back home". So, I went up front and gave my life back to God! What was even more beautiful was having my uncle be the one to baptize me in the James River, since he and my aunt are truly the reason I got saved again. Life isn't perfect, there was (and still are) things I'm overcoming and healing. God is so so good, He is a redeemer and a restorer. God has shown me where in moments when I was experiencing hurt, that He was there with me the whole time, that He never left me for one single moment. God designed me just the way I am, God knew the world needs me in it, and God loves me so much, just like He loves you; He loves all His children. I'm still learning, still growing, still healing, still overcoming, and still learning to trust. God is still working on me and my heart. Finally, I have an actual relationship with God, and I am starting to truly love me. Man, I love God and actually know God! I am continuing to learn everyday, and I'm excited to fulfill His plan and calling for my life! Thank you God, thank you!