Have I Been Acting Like Peter?

First off, HEY FRIENDS! I had gotten back on here cause this blog came to heart and mind and knew I instantly needed to write it and post. I realized, then, it has been since DECEMBER that I'd written a blog. There's so much to catch y'all up on, so much to say, yet I'll save it for another blog;). This one is too big and important for me to write and share. Easter Sunday, a beautiful day serving at church, a reminder of what Jesus did for us, for me. I started a new tradition (maybe a couple years ago) to watch 'The Passion of the Christ' during this season as a reminder of not just what Jesus did, but what He went through, what He was willing to endure, for me, for you dear reader.

I was watching it this evening, and out of all the tears and sobbing I did, there was a moment something changed in me. It was the scene where Peter had denied Jesus (for the 3rd time, when he was swearing to deny Jesus), and he remembered Jesus' words telling him he'd denied Him 3 times. Peter broke down in tears, and then, God's conviction came in me, and I started breaking down myself.

I may not have denied Jesus the way Peter did, but what if I have unintentionally denied Jesus by speaking negative words about myself and my life? What if I have unintentionally denied Jesus by not always trusting, by aiming to take control over my life or certain areas? What if I have unintentionally denied Jesus by certain actions that I knew deep down were wrong, or in moments of not believing what God has told me? Don't get me wrong- I am human, I have made mistakes, and I will most likely make many more in the future. There's a phrase my therapist has said, "If you don't know better, you don't realize you can do better or that there was more to learn. Once you know better, you do better." (This is 100% paraphrased and what I gathered from it!) If I don't genuinely know better, how can I do better, right? However, once I know better, if I choose not to do better, that's a choice. This is me taking accountability and knowing I can do much better. There is good news, friends! Jesus did get crucified, and it's brutal without a doubt. It's heartbreaking to be real- however, HE IS RISEN! There was a moment in the Good Friday service where I had my eyes closed during worship, and I could see Jesus in front of me, telling me, "You were worth it". Wow, to know that you don't deserve it, and yet being told you were worth dying for. That kind of love changes you, and I am forever thankful and grateful Jesus saved me.

I pray this blesses someone like it did me. I pray this brings someone back to Jesus like I was brought back. I pray this lets someone know they are unconditionally loved like it reminded me. This blog is not meant to 'attack' or 'go after' anyone; if anything, I want you to know that Jesus loves you, He went and was crucified for you, and that you were worth it. I pray you had a wonderful Easter, and felt Jesus' love.❤️