Seasons of Love- DATING EDITION!

In order to get to the married, we typically go through the dating season! Engagement is usually a part of this process as well, I just didn't have any engaged friends that had answered these for me! Something special among is one of my best friends went through a season of being married, getting divorced, single, and now dating! Here's all of my dating friends' answers!

Q: What's one thing you did in your single season that benefited your relationship now?

"I worked on myself in certain areas- my faith, things that I needed to release or improve in"

"Growing and developing a deep relationship with God and taking/having the time to prioritize God"

"Worked on self discipline and good habits"

"Learn from my past mistakes or lessons"

"Learned how to communicate more with my partner"

Q: What's one thing you're appreciative about your single season?

"It allowed me to love myself more and more as a person; freedom😂"

"Figuring out what I really want in a partner and not being afraid of being particular about it"

"Nothing worth something comes easy. Be ready to work on yourself and the relationship if it's of value to you"

"Peaceful knowing I don't have to worry about another human"

"Being able to get more rest. When I'm in a relationship, a majority of my energy and times goes into being a mother and great partner so that requires sacrifice of sleep lots of the time"

"Appreicate time to myself, I am single- as in not married, I don't have any kids, any obligations, and at the end of the day, the only person I have to really worry about and account to is myself! I'm not responsible for no little people, no man right now. It's me enjoying the time, me getting to know myself and love myself.

Q: To my singles, what's something you're currently doing in your season to prepare for marriage?

"God's still working with me on this one"

"Focus on BECOMING the right person, and less about FINDING the right person. We attract what we are, not what we want"

"I just watched a sermon where the preacher was talking about self love. I'm working on improving my self-love and loving myself more and giving myself more grace and telling myself, 'you're beautiful, you're attractive, you're an amazing woman' and saying my affirmations. If I'm not loving myself, I can't wholeheartedly love the man God has for me. I'm also working on healing, so if I'm not loving on myself and loving myself and holding onto past trauma and past hurt, then how can I accept the man that wants to give me love and protect me and lead in my life? Working on being healed and loving myself, A LOT"

Q: What's something you've learned during the dating season?

"I can welcome in the love that I deserve and never received in the past; that this person genuinely wants to shower me with nothing but love and I can receive it and not 'downplay' it because it's something I'm not 'used' to from a previous partner"

"Dating well is so incredibly important. Having tough conversations won't be weird with the right person. Unless we are on the same page on some major points (loving God, desiring marriage in life, wanting a family, etc) then there is no use wasting the precious time that could be allocated to someone I am equally yoked and on the same page as."

"Give people a chance, you just might be surprised on who the good ones are"

"That I actually want to be married, but I'm nervous and still feel like I'm not ready for marriage slightly🤣🤣" ( she keeps it real y'all😂)

"You can't expect others to do things for you if you won't even do it for yourself. Like, if I'm not dating me, how can I expect someone else to date me? If I can't take myself out on dates and taking care of me and etc, why would I expect a man to do all those things with me? I'm learning to put high expectations on myself when it comes to loving and dating me. If I don't 'have high expectations for myself, how can I have high exceptations for men? If I'm not putting myself first and treating myself like I'm a queen, then how can I expect a man to treat me like a queen? and if I'm treating myself less than a queen, I'm getting peasant"

Q: What's something you did while/doing currently in dating that you feel truly benefited you, in the range of respecting your own boundaries and beliefs to finding your significant other?

"Being bold about my boundaries and honoring them both to myself and expecting those boundaries to be respected by my partner was HUGE. I used to be afraid of setting boundaries, but boundaries keep the right people around and shut the wrong people out. I was conscious to make sure to include God in a way that I've never done before in the process, which has made a tremendous difference. Speaking my mind and sharing my opinions in a respectful manner is also something I've made sure to do because it was something that I was not able to do without tension and strife in my previous relationship"

"Pros and Cons list"

"Dating forced me to get out of my comfort zone and open up more. It also makes me practice patience"

"Something I want to do or get better at is abstaining from sex and not letting sex be the main thing. I'm respecting myself by not having sex and really getting to know a guy. Getting to know him for him and him getting to know me for me. If I'm aiming to have not have, we can't go to each other's places, cause it'd be super tempting. Or, if we are at each other's places, having the discipline to not engage in that and waiting"

Q: People say that marriage/relationships are hard work, would you mind sharing an example of the hard work, and where you saw the victory in that hard work?

"Communication can be hard! Especially if you're like me, and it's not my strongest suit relationally. The one thing I always find in tough situations is expressing how I feel. The other person HAS to be open to letting you express yourself, however. At the end of it all, I'm always pleased with my thoughts/feelings being heard and a solutions we can both agree on"

"Nothing that is worth having comes easily. It takes conscious effort from both partners to be able to make something really beautiful. Natural reciprocation is huge in a healthy relationship. An example I can share about hard work would be setting aside time to have important conversations and working (personally) on listening well and not being reactive to my partner. Creating a safe space where we are both comfortable to share openly what is working and what is not working has been tough, especially if you come from previous relationships where this did not occur. Some helpful questions we've learned to ask are: 'what's working? what's not working? what's wanted and needed?'. And especially when it comes to complaints, 'I hear your complaint, what's your request?'"

"Continue to add personal value and development so that the relationship would produce more fruit. Increasing one's faith and belief in God bringing Him into the relationship played a huge role in staying and fighting together through dark times"

"Compromising in all areas"

"Dating is only hard work when both aren't willing to work on it. If you have both parties willing to fight the fight together, it doesn't feel like work, but more so maintenance. One example is my man lives in another country and sometimes I have to remind him to keep his phone with him because that is our main source of communication. He is a nature person so he disconnects a lot from worldly things, but since I have communicated the issue he changed the behavior; that's a victory to me"

Q: To my engaged and married friends, what's one really sound wisdom you believe singles should know in their current season of singleness?

"WAIT, WAIT, and WAIT SOME MORE. Become who God called YOU to be. Work on yourself and become the right person. Do not try to fit a square peg in a round hole. It is so much better to have patience and wait for God's best for you than to jump the gun and figure out you made a mistake too late. You are WORTHY of God's absolute best for you, and it's out there"

"Find the truth in yourself before you try to find the truth with someone else. You don't have to complete your self journey in order to be in a serious committed relationship, but you must be willing to begin that journey before including anyone else"

Q: To my engaged and married friends, what was something you wish you would have done in your single season? Even more of, etc?

"I wish I would have grown closer to God prior to getting married. It would have provided me with the discernment I needed early and my focus would have been different. Growing my relationship with God deeper prior to marriage would have saved a ton of heartache"

"I wish I would have spent more time focusing on the vision for my life and how I wanted to live and game-plan intentionally instead of figuring it out day-to-day"

Q: How do you keep God in the center of your current relationship? What's something that helps to keep God in the center?

"I always start with God (I try to stay first thing in the morning), but either way, I'm always turning to the Word. If I am in need of an answer to something, I immediately open my Bible and pray! We also pray together as well before we fellowship over a meal"

"Time with God comes first, always. Operating in God's calling comes first, always. Praying together, doing devotionals together. Talking about God and the Bible often. Checking one another and operating in God's wisdom. All of these things help to keep our focus clear and our hearts pure and intentional!"

"A family that prays together stays together. Being a leader in faith and not just work ethic is a continuing progression for our family"

"We have different religions and we don't center it around it, but we still instill it in our values and make sure we respect each other's views"

"I pray for us and our family. Continued prayer"

"I pray and talk to God, and we need to be able to keep God first and be able to talk to Him"

Q: What's one scripture God says about marriage and love that you cling to and apply?

"Not explicitly about marriage, but it applies ten fold.

'1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6Who, being in very nature God,did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7rather, he made himself nothingby taking the very nature of a servant,being made in human likeness.8And being found in appearance as a man,he humbled himselfby becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!9Therefore God exalted him to the highest placeand gave him the name that is above every name,10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,in heaven and on earth and under the earth,11and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,to the glory of God the Father.

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

14Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. Phillippians 2: 1-18"

"'Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need' Matthew 6:33"

"1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, couple people mentioned this scripture, again making sure you're adding your own name where it says love, and giving them grace"

Q: Let it out- what's some tips, wisdoms, etc that you'd love to share that's helped you big time?

"Give room for grace! God loves the both of you and made you different for a reason! But, He also made you to love one another❤️"

"A relationship needs to be worked on daily through good and bad times. Never stop working on your relationship despite outcomes. Keep God at the center of your relationship. If that is new for your partner, have grace but continue to encourage your relationship be fulfilled by the Holy Spirit"

"God to compromise and also got to communicate, communication. It's the most important thing, even if it's bad or good, you gotta let them know"

"Don't rush anything, and give it all you got. Sometimes old relationships influence how we behave in new ones. I want to challenge you to come into a new relationship with an open mind and a clean, open heart to get the best results out of love"

"Put God first, PUT GOD FIRST. If a man does NOT have God FIRST, HE CAN'T LEAD ME. And I don't want to be lead by the blind, I want a man who can lead me through God's eyes. Are you a man of God? Also putting myself first, but not in a selfish way. Still loving yourself and the other person, yet also taking care of yourself"

WOW WOW WOW WOW. I love hearing everyone's stories, their thoughts and perspectives, and learning so much from them! I wanted to dive into God's Word and see what He says about dating, and while I haven't specifically scriptures for "dating", I think a couple things are important to keep in mind when you're in that dating season: 1- making sure you are involving God in it, in everything truly, but especially when you're aiming to have discernment if this is the person you're meant to be with and that God wants you to be with this person, and 2- dating intentionally, meaning are you dating to marry, dating for fun, etc. I'm certainly not here to tell you what your intentions should be, however typically the end goal is marriage, so knowing what you want and your intentions is HUGE! Now, before we get to dating and marriage, most of us have a single season! Catch me at the end of the week to hear from all the singles, INCLUDING MYSELF🫣