Seasons of Love- SINGLES EDITION!

Alright friends, the final component of this series- THE SINGLES! Now, some of us are in this season for a short period of time, and some of us are in it for a longer amount of time! I hear y'all, it can get lonely and frustrating, and you might even wonder like "God, you got me sir?" Lol yet, it is a gift, and there is so much good in it! Now, here's my single friends answers as well as mine🫣

Q: What's one thing you're appreciative about your single season?

"Outside of God, I don't have to report to anyone. I love that I can be as selfish as I want and don't have to consider anyone or compromise"

"Having the time to understand myself. Sometimes when you are in a relationship, you spend a lot of time trying to please the person you are with and not enough time pleasing yourself"

"I've appreciated discovering/knowing/loving/challenging/solidifying my needs and wants first during my single season"

"I've been able to have the time to truly focus on myself, my relationship with God, all the areas in my life, and simply heal. I've been able to get to know who I am, what dreams are inside of me, learn, go through all the emotions, and have the time to enjoy life, etc"

Q: To my singles, what's something you're currently doing in your season to prepare for marriage, if you desire to be married?

"I am learning to fall in love with myself. I am learning to be patient with myself. I am learning to give myself grace and to laugh when I make mistakes. I am learning to take advantage of all the free time that I have. I am working out more than I have ever as that is something I would like my significant other to do. I am more in the Word than I ever been in my 30 years of life. Also enjoy and look forward to going to church so I can dive deeper in my relationship with God outside of what I do in my personal time. I now have more courage to do more things alone (movies, dinner, random activities throughout RVA). Harsh truth.... being okay that marriage may not happen"

"Understanding what it is I seek in a partner. Having a concrete list of wants and needs and things I will not compromise on with my future partner. This all comes from the ability to understand myself and learning more about me"

"I've been preparing myself for marriage by having great marriage examples in my life. I still learn from both the positive and the negative marriage examples I have in my life"

"I'm building my relationship with God and with myself. I am learning how God loves us and His promises for us. I'm learning how to fully love myself, not just with self dates and all, but speaking life over me and speaking positive when life wants to life. I'm learning how to be the Proverbs 31 woman, what that looks like, aiming to act like I'm already married, and learning how I want to raise my future family. I'm also breaking soul ties that I made with people I had no business making soul ties with them. Also learning patience, grace, unconditional love, courage, strength, wisdom, knowledge, true peace, etc"

Q: What's something you've learned during the dating season?

"When I was dating, I learned that I need to love myself before I can pursue another relationship. I need to stand firm in what I want because there was a lot that I tolerated when I should have walked away sooner than I did"

"That I'm a prize and should be treated as such"

"What love is and isn't. What boundaries are and that I had lacked them for a long time. What I wanted and didn't want. That as much as I desire my future husband, I'm not ready to date because I'm still healing and discovering so much about myself that I wouldn't receive my future husband the way I want to and the way God wants me to"

Q: What’s something you did while/doing currently in dating that you feel truly benefited you, in the range of respecting your own boundaries and beliefs to finding your significant other?

"Knowing when to walk away from situations that don’t serve me now and will only cause pain in the future"

Q: How do you keep God in the center of your current relationship? What's something that helps to keep God in the center?

"As a single, I am still working on seeking God first in every decision"

"I keep God in the center of my life by making sure I'm always serving my family and close relationships I already have so that when I do become partnered, I'll know exactly how to be served and vice versa"

"As a single gal, I'm learning to know God, His Word and Promises. I'm also learning to go to God FIRST; it can be so easy to go to a lot of my people, and don't get me wrong- I thankfully have a lot of mentors and friends in my life that I trust and can go to for things! However, recently God had put it in my heart and asked me 'when are you going to start coming to Me first?', so we are learning! I also talk to God, a lot, and ask Him A LOT. When there was a couple guys that had seemed like they wanted to pursue me, I would go to God and asked for either the peace for confirmation or for a sign they were not it. It's also trusting what He says, regardless of what I want Him to say"

Q: Let it out- what's some tips, wisdoms, etc that you'd love to share that's helped you big time?

"Learn to love everything about yourself (all the imperfections that you can point out in a mirror even though they are a beauty in someone else's eyes). I heard it so many times when I was younger "you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself". Now that I am older I truly understand. Clap for your friends when they get what you want/wanted. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve become okay with the fact that marriage may not be in God’s plan for me. Me coming to terms with that was a looonnnnnggg road. Yes, I would clap for friends when they announced they were engaged. Yes, I would clap when business partners would get in the guest recognition line at an info session and say “soon to be.” However on the inside I was upset and many times angry. I would compare and dare to say it question God 'Why not me?' 'When is it going to be my time?' 'Why would this desire be placed on my heart or dangled in my face for it not to happen (in my time frame.).' But then I had to literally tell myself 'STOP WITH THE NEGATIVE.' I only was hurting myself and questioning the plans God had for me. If it is meant to happen I am sure it will be better than I imagined."

"If you cry more than you smile it’s time to let it go. Love doesn’t hurt. Remember to build for relationships on a strong foundation so on the days when you feel defeated you know it’s just a phase that will pass because you BOTH are strong together.

For the women: it’s ok to compromise but not on the things you want more than anything (marriage, kids, financial freedom). If you want those things, don’t let your partner talk you out of it because as the years past, you will develop resentment towards them. Remember you are NOT always right! HE/She is human as well and nobody is perfect. It’s ok to say you were wrong. Teach them how you want to be loved!

For the Men: Your partner wants to feel safe! Just because they seem strong doesn’t mean they don’t want/need your protection. In the sense of knowing when things go bad you will step up to the plate and handle it. No worries they will have your back and hold you up when you need a hand. It’s a PARTNERSHIP!

Both: Speak your feelings. Don’t expect them to know how you feel. If you say it they will know without having to assume it. Love is free but RESPECT IS EARNED"

"My advice for all the single ladies and single fellas would be to serve your emotional needs, serve how you would want to be served, and live your life for you first. Everything else is a gift from Him!"

"1st- I don't think this can be oversaid, but know God, His love, His grace, His promises, build that relationship and let that be a HUGE component of your foundation in everything and anything! Also, what you speak is HUGE, and what you say truly matters; pick out scriptures that are fitting to you and your current season, and speak them over yourself over and over and over! Your words are your swords, USE THEM! 2nd- LOVE YOURSELF. I don't just mean with self dates and all that either. I mean love yourself when things are going good, when things are not going the way you thought they would, when you make a mistake, the way you talk to yourself, the way you think, every single thing there is about you, LOVE YOU. 3rd- HEAL. In our single season, I heart it over and over how this is one of the simplest and easiest seasons of our life because we are responsible solely for ourselves. Healing can hurt, A LOT. I think it also hurts a lot more though when we hang onto that hurt and let it turn us cold. When God reveals, it's to heal, so the single season is a great season where God will reveal, and it'll hurt, but that also means He wants us to know so we can heal. Do the inner work with God, it's so much better when you truly heal with God. Also, something else I'm healing is the healthy soul ties I had created with people I had no business creating. Those soul ties can weigh you down so so much, cut the soul ties and heal. Know what your personal triggers are, what your boundaries are in all areas, learn how to communicate. I know for me personally communication is something I'm currently working on. I was taught to hang onto feelings and emotions and issues, and to be the peacemaker and to pretty much keep my mouth shut, so I'm truly just now learning how to communicate in a healthy way. 4th- LEARN. This is the most time we'll have in our life, learn about God, yourself, things you enjoy to do, read a lot of books, learn about different types of income streams, about finances and budgeting, learn about God's Word, what His promises say, what He guides us to do, about health, fitness, what foods benefit your body, what foods don't agree with your body, STRETCHINGGGG (the 30's remind you that you need to stretch, especially your hips!), go try different exercises like pickleball, running, anything that gets you active and you enjoy! Finally, 5th- LIVE. I think for the longest time because I've been focused on goals, dreams, getting out of debt, having money, being better than when I was growing up, etc, and I had truly forgotten how to have fun, to truly enjoy at times. I'm someone that loves to laugh, yet I forget to do it at times. I truly had thought that my life wouldn't truly start until my future husband came into my life, yet I'm now finally having the time of my life! I'm learning how to love myself, what I enjoy to do, what activities that I've never tried before that I found fun, going to different places and trying them out, just aiming to be more intentional and to truly enjoy every single moment God continues to give me"

God, thank you again for putting this series on my heart and giving me the honor to write it! God, thank you for putting all the people you have put in my life and blessing me with their friendship! I have personally learned so so much, and have gained so much perspective in this series! Thank you again to every single one of my friends who took the time out of their life and schedule to answer these questions and being willing to share your knowledge and wisdom! I hope you were blessed by this series like I was, and I pray it helps you in your journey and season whichever one that may be!

One of the things mentioned a lot over this series was to love yourself, so one of my next blogs we are going to talk about that: SELF LOVE/LOVING YOURSELF, and doing so according to God's Word! ❤️